Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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