why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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