I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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