Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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