If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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