I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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