YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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