Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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