Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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