My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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