apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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