The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize