he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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