i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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