I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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