Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize