can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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