8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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