I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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