I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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