i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have fence marks all over my body
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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