I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize