Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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