dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Congratulations! We have a period
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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