ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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