You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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