You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize