He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
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