as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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