Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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