Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize