would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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