I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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