I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize