You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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