would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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