Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize