the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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