I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize