Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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