I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize