I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize