I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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