dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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