Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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