Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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