I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need moral support for this bender
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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