Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize