You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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