Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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